Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
