just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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