My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
