i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
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Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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