i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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