she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
