i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
