I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
