who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think my nap took me to another dimension
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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