i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
