She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
