so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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