i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
