just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
