she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
