When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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