I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
