i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize