Where is the hickey?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
