Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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