Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
