My room smells like vodka and shame
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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