The maid of honor just puked.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
