3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
then he tried to convert me to islam
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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