I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
