My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
