my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
