i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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