Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
