I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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