Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
