This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dick very happy bro
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
