something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
