I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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