No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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