Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
