Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
