u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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