So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
