he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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