it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
