I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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