she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
