I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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