some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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