its not stalking. its research.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
