everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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