I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
