She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
