I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
