I CAN MOONWALK!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
