They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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