I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
