Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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